Everyone reinvents themselves online, but don't overdo it.
Remember, if you're successful you may have to take this relationship into the real world and all will be revealed.
Follow our top tips to ensure success...
• Post a recent photograph; obviously, you'll want to look your best, but pictures from ten years ago won't help your cause.
• Real life relationships are different. Help the transition from online universe to the real world by having a phonecall with your potential date first. You can tell a lot from a voice, and if chatting comes easily the signs are encouraging.
• Don't track down first dates on Google. There is such a thing as too much information, and the potential magic of dating discovery will be lost.
• Once you've met someone you like, be wary of online stalking. Dating sites can feed obssessions and you need to be careful about compulsive checking.
• Remember that an online dating site is full of possibilities, and they are endlessly renewed. Your dates may find it harder than usual to commit, so be very sure that you're both in it for the same thing...
• Don't allow online dating to rule your life. Restrict the amount of visits you make to the dating site every day, and keep up with friends in the real world.
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Online Dating Etiquette
Internet dating gives the user the ability to pick and choose someone without having to meet a multitude of no-hopers.
Choosing your date is much the same as the way you pick dishes from a menu.
It may lack the finesse and subtlety of traditional courtship, but it opens you up to a world of possibility.
Honesty is always the best policy: being creative with photographs or profiles will lead to eventual downfall when you meet in the flesh. Use the best photograph you have: if the picture isn't up to scratch, potential lovers won't even bother reading the profile. It's a competitive world in cyberspace, and to succeed you have to sell yourself. Steer clear of clichés and innuendo, aim for wit without sarcasm, and avoid excessive modesty as this will invariably backfire.
Keep initial approaches brief and light-hearted. Officially it's rude to ignore overtures, so a response is always appropriate, no matter how brief. Once you have reached stalemate and are no longer interested in someone, tell them rather than ignoring them. Not everyone will abide by the rules of the game, though, so if you are ignored by someone you've taken an interest in, give up graciously after two messages are left unanswered.
If you wish to turn an online interest into reality, one of you must take the leap of faith and suggest meeting in the flesh. Women should not assume that this is the man's responsibility.
Beware: the infinite number of potential partners in cyberspace can easily turn idle curiosity into an addiction. Light-hearted browsing can become a compulsion once you're on the scent of the holy grail, and it's easy for the quest to become an obsession. So take a deep breath, limit the number of online excursions you make each day, and try and get on with living your life in the real world.
If you do strike lucky, and feel confident enough to commit to an ongoing relationship with your internet date, mutually agree to take your profiles off the various dating websites. This is a gesture of faith and commitment; it is also a safeguard. You have both tasted the infinite possibilities of the internet, you may even be addicted to the quest, and there is every risk that you will relapse... Cyber-flirtations or, worse still, clandestine internet-inspired assignations, will kill your new relationship.
Choosing your date is much the same as the way you pick dishes from a menu.
It may lack the finesse and subtlety of traditional courtship, but it opens you up to a world of possibility.
Honesty is always the best policy: being creative with photographs or profiles will lead to eventual downfall when you meet in the flesh. Use the best photograph you have: if the picture isn't up to scratch, potential lovers won't even bother reading the profile. It's a competitive world in cyberspace, and to succeed you have to sell yourself. Steer clear of clichés and innuendo, aim for wit without sarcasm, and avoid excessive modesty as this will invariably backfire.
Keep initial approaches brief and light-hearted. Officially it's rude to ignore overtures, so a response is always appropriate, no matter how brief. Once you have reached stalemate and are no longer interested in someone, tell them rather than ignoring them. Not everyone will abide by the rules of the game, though, so if you are ignored by someone you've taken an interest in, give up graciously after two messages are left unanswered.
If you wish to turn an online interest into reality, one of you must take the leap of faith and suggest meeting in the flesh. Women should not assume that this is the man's responsibility.
Beware: the infinite number of potential partners in cyberspace can easily turn idle curiosity into an addiction. Light-hearted browsing can become a compulsion once you're on the scent of the holy grail, and it's easy for the quest to become an obsession. So take a deep breath, limit the number of online excursions you make each day, and try and get on with living your life in the real world.
If you do strike lucky, and feel confident enough to commit to an ongoing relationship with your internet date, mutually agree to take your profiles off the various dating websites. This is a gesture of faith and commitment; it is also a safeguard. You have both tasted the infinite possibilities of the internet, you may even be addicted to the quest, and there is every risk that you will relapse... Cyber-flirtations or, worse still, clandestine internet-inspired assignations, will kill your new relationship.
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Online Manners
It is easy in the cyberworld to feel that the normal civilities are suspended.
The web is a place of endless reinvention, where people hide behind multiple personalities; the shy and socially awkward become brazen and bullish, the reticent become flirtatious, the uncommunicative become loquacious.
Emboldened by anonymity, it is easy to get carried away online. Intemperate messages can be sent off with no fear of redress, promises can be made that will never be fulfilled, crude innuendo is the order of the day. Mild-mannered computer geeks turn into determined stalkers, poking and prodding their victims, deluging people with emails, tweeting tediously.
Make it a general rule that you will never say anything online that you wouldn't be able to articulate directly, face to face. Do not use the technology as a shield, masking your true feelings and personality. So always write polite emails, and never send messages (on social networking sites, chatrooms, SMS etc.) that contain intemperate language or sentiments that you would never normally express in your everyday life.
Don't be an online bitch: skulking behind the computer screen and dishing out poison. Don't be an online bully: threatening and haranguing people you can't see, who can't fight back. Don't be an online bore: blogs that enumerate the minutiae of your day, likes, dislikes etc. in excruciating detail may exercise a horrible fascination, but won't make you popular.
Always remember that going online is a way of enhancing your life, not a
substitute for living.
• Don't make the mistake of thinking that normal civilities are suspended in cyberspace.
• Never say anything online that you're not prepared to articulate face to face.
• Don't use the online universe to mask your true personality; if you're a shy geek masquerading as a bold lothario you will ultimately be found out.
Social Netiquette
The trend for social networking via websites has made new demands on traditional etiquette. Play it safe, and always employ your usual good manners when online, treating others with kindness and respect.
Don't make friends with people who you don't know. It's not a competition to see how many friends you can get. Think carefully before you accept someone or remove someone as a friend. Don't annoy your friends by constant, frantic poking.
Don't let online social networking take over all other methods of communication. Letters and phone calls are still important. Send birthday cards rather than a message on a networking site. Call your friends to tell them important news rather than posting an announcement online.
Think carefully about the photos you post, both of yourself and others. Consider your friends' feelings. Would they be happy for everyone to see the unflattering picture of them after their fourth tequila shot?
Think about what your profile picture says about you, and don't fall into the trap of turning the online universe into a fantasy world, where you are more attractive and successful than in real life. Social networking is meant to complement and enhance your existing social life, not completely obliterate it.
Don't make friends with people who you don't know. It's not a competition to see how many friends you can get. Think carefully before you accept someone or remove someone as a friend. Don't annoy your friends by constant, frantic poking.
Don't let online social networking take over all other methods of communication. Letters and phone calls are still important. Send birthday cards rather than a message on a networking site. Call your friends to tell them important news rather than posting an announcement online.
Think carefully about the photos you post, both of yourself and others. Consider your friends' feelings. Would they be happy for everyone to see the unflattering picture of them after their fourth tequila shot?
Think about what your profile picture says about you, and don't fall into the trap of turning the online universe into a fantasy world, where you are more attractive and successful than in real life. Social networking is meant to complement and enhance your existing social life, not completely obliterate it.
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